Persuasiveness, rather than Contentiousness, guides vital truths around others mental roadblocks.
When you see improper behaviour, would you persuade them? Can you speak in the right tone of voice? Can you handle it with the right attitude? Can you give the right direction?
Persuasiveness is not to persuade people to do things at will, but to do things in the right way. When a someone persuades his friend or the family, he is sure that he is trying to persuade them in the right direction. In fact, encouraging others to do the wrong thing defies the concept of persuasiveness. To tempt a man to do wrong is the lure, not the persuasiveness. As the saying goes: Those who lead you astray are not you true friends.
Persuaders always speak in a calm and restrained tone so as not to provoke arguments. Although arguments can be used in a positive way too(such as a lawyer arguing in the court), when kids argue, it almost always involves yelling, fighting, or using foul words to make a point. Unfortunately, negative arguments often amplify the issue and cause bad results. Actually, that bad feelings will get stuck in the way of a positive solution.
善劝的目标是提供别人真实的信息，并且在态度与表达方式上尽量不去冒犯别人。The goal of persuasiveness is to provide truthful information to the other person, not to offend the other person in the manner or expression.
劝说者必须在开始劝说之前搞清楚自己的角色定位及责任范围，不可过分干涉他人私事。The persuader must be clear about his or her role and responsibility before he or she begins to persuades. Don’t interfere too much in other people’s private affairs.
善劝不是洗脑。善劝也只能适当地要求, 不要强迫人，你只要提供必须改变的理由就好了，让对方自己思考。善劝不会说这样的话：“我教你怎么做，你就怎么做！” 而是像一个教练在旁边帮助别人，教导他们看到事实的真相、品格的原则以及客观的关键要素，让人独立思考并作出恰当的响应。
Persuasiveness is not brainwashing.Persuasiveness can only be appropriately requested. Don’t force anyone. Just offer reasons why someone needs to change and let him think for themselves.Persuaders never say things like, “Do what I show you!” Instead, act as a coach who is there to help others, teaching them to see facts as they really are, principles of character, and key elements of objectivity, to think for themselves and to respond appropriately.
Persuasiveness is not just about persuading others to accept your conclusion. It is about helping them learn how to think properly and guide them to master the process of thinking carefully, methodically, and objectively. Just like when you take a taxi home and meet a driver who is not familiar with the way, besides telling the driver the destination, it is important to make sure the driver makes the right turn at the first turning, and then the second turning, the third turning…… finally guide him to the destination.
Dear friends, have you ever thought about whether what you are presenting is a fact or an opinion? Do you care about doing the right thing, or do you just need people to agree with you?
Persuasiveness, an indispensable character in our life, avoids quarrels and leads us to the truth. May you have a nice week!
谢谢！Thank you !
演讲者： 江智谦 王京丽